“Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in thee.” —Saint Augustine
The silent phone and the silent home… the reminder, amid the aching, that my God is still here with me, even while in the moment I feel so deeply alone.
The tissue box beside the bed… the ever-faithful tear catchers.
The faithful stuffed blue bunny… the comforting presence of a childhood friend who revives cherished memories.
The restless turning… knowing that my heart is restless, and remembering that I will only find rest in Him.
The unanswered questions… because I am still actively seeking and haven’t given up; because I am human and finite, and I am forced to realize that I have no answers to what the future holds.
The calming spiritual music… the echoing of my thoughts, infusing my mind with reminders of all that I need to trust and believe, even when I don’t understand.
The candle light… banishing the deep darkness and the haunting nightmares behind by eyes.
The passing time… marking the approaching morning light as the moments trail by.
The praying lips… the outpouring of words, asking for wisdom to listen for His answers and seeking comfort for my troubled soul; always wishing I’d begun sooner.
The heavy eyes… the promise of sleep soon to come.
The long sigh… releasing the shame of squandered wishes, daily failures, and unfinished work, and leaving them in His most capable hands.
The final drifting thoughts… that the coming day is bright and new, to be lived fully; and that courageous love is possible, because of my Father’s everlasting love for me.
“Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep,If I shall die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take,
And this I ask for Jesus’ sake. Amen.”