Showing posts with label youth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label youth. Show all posts

Saturday, February 8, 2014

HoneLife: Play

"In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play." —Friedrich Nietzsche
"Adulthood", the 100% serious kind, can be such a sad state when it comes to play.

I've never really understood the concept of 'work hard, play hard'. Perhaps it's because I tend to be more introverted, but I find playing hard just as exhausting as working hard. To me, that's kind of exhaustion isn't play, and it's not much fun. Yet if that's your cup of tea, more power to you. It's just not for me.

Plus, as children grow into young adults, most play and games become infused with competition. Competition requires a winner and a loser. The winner is rewarded for the exertion put forward in the activity, but the loser isn't so fortunate. Is there joy in losing? Not so much. 

Competition isn't necessarily a bad thing, but if we start to believe that competition and play are inseparable, we're bound to miss out on the joy of playing for its own sake. Some games are played not solely for the victory, to see who wins or loses. Some games are just meant to be experienced.

CousinThat's where some of my best memories come from when I was a young child. Yes, we played soccer and tee-ball and other such competitive games. Yet we found more enjoyment playing games that we invented, just for the joys of imagination and the world of pretend. My siblings and I used to turn our camper into the best, bike-accessible-only McDonalds drive-thru. School recess would find my friends and I inventing games to play out in the open field, away from the swings and merry-go-round that was always congested with older kids.

Even now that I'm older, this experiential playtime is what I enjoy most. There's no anxiety over winning and losing when you play doll-house or hunt Easter eggs with a young cousin. Telling stories with a group of Sunday school kids becomes more fun when they begin to invent stories with you. After all, would you think of turning Frankenstein into the size of Godzilla with the power of slime to disintegrate buildings? And would you think to get the Transformers involved to keep him at bay and save all the 'city folks'? I know that wouldn't be my first thought... and that's what makes this kind of play so fun. 

Blue Heeler DogWatching animals at play also brings out that simple joy in the experience, like how our outside dog never gets tired of catching sticks or snow balls (and seems to always wonder where they go when he bites and eats them). And if my family had never moved into the mountains, I never would have witnessed our cat play 'tag' with a young deer.

All this reminds me of innocent play, a kind of play where people can jump in and out of games without interrupting them, and no effort is wasted because playing isn't dependent on winning or losing. It's play for the sake of experience.

With all this in mind, this is my "Honework" of the week:

Play

It was a game she made up,
sprung from imagination like a shooting star
as all children's games begin; what's more,
her friends loved the idea too,
couldn't wait to get started
as she explained the guidelines and clutched
the braided lengths of white horse hair
in her tiny fist,
binding her and her favorite mare together
with the ring of a key chain

They all knew horses,
saw them, loved them, experienced them,
if not in their own backyard ranches
then at the home of a friend
or the bin of a playroom,
plastic legs forever running;
Sometimes they even pretended to be them,
learning to neigh, trot, and gallop on two legs
and eat grass with one leg extended,
though their arms transformed into lips and teeth
so they could reach down without kneeling;
After all, no real horse would do that,
except babies curled up on the ground,
and they didn't want to be babies

But this new game was special,
she knew,
she'd imagined it;
And soon they all did,
pure white horses as they usually were,
they could easily grow a horn
and become magical;
After all, unicorns were a lot like horses,
Only better, because they were said to favor maidens
and they graced the covers of their favorite notebooks,
white and neon brilliance

So they set off
together as a herd,
discovering hidden wonders in the playground,
seeing magical things
only imagination sees

And it gathered attention;
The boys wanted in,
only she had to tell them how, they all agreed
it was the girls' game,
and she was the guide, she led the experience,
not one questioned it
because it didn't need to be,
since not all games are for winning,
some are just for experiencing

Little brow furrowed,
white braided hairs woven in her fingers,
she added the wolves, and thus the chase,
to their enchanted playground field; yet
rules were needed
to balance the boys; they all knew
boys are clever and strong
and when caught up in games
might act too rough; then harm replaces fun,
and none of them wanted that

It was all agreed that the wolf-boys would be
true to their totem
and run on all fours
to chase the girl-unicorns
and catch them in they can; the girls would be
swift, act like they didn't know
a stalking was taking place
until jumping free at the last second
to gallop across the field
neighing in fierce joy,
waiting for the wolf-boys to catch them,
oblivious to the curious stares that followed

She thrilled in the game,
at the unhindered idea that sprang to life
in the hearts of her classmates;
Forgotten were the swings, merry-go-round,
jungle-gym, monkey bars;
All they needed
was themselves
and wide open spaces;
For that moment
she was free,
they were all free
living the purity of play

A little fist raised triumphant,
braided white hair on a key ring
wrapped around a tiny finger; finally
the loss of a favorite, four-legged friend,
a fallen Star
was made whole again
in the memories of two-legged unicorns
and the wolf-boys who chased them


See more "Play" at HoneLife.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Learning from Younglings (A Mentor's Tribute to Upward Bound)

"A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you than you see in yourself, and helps bring it out of you." —Bob Proctor

Glacier National Park
East Entrance, Glacier National Park - Montana, USA
How do you know if you are called to be a mentor? And what does it really mean to be a mentor?

When I began my summer job this year as a Resident Assistant for the Upward Bound 2012 Summer Academy at the Montana Tech campus, I knew that I would be placed in a mentoring position. One of the advantages I had was that I had been serving as an RA at my college for the past two years. Another advantage I had was that I had worked as an RA for Upward Bound last summer in 2011… which meant that I had the pleasure of knowing about half of the 70 students who were attending this summer. I was excited about the RA staff this year, knowing three other returning RA's and getting to know four new coworkers.

Yet no matter how much preparation you have for a job, you never really know what will happen… and how your life will be changed.

In my mind, being a mentor has a lot to do with how you conduct yourself as a person on a daily basis. If you think you’re going to win the respect and trust of someone, regardless if that person is younger or older than you, it all begins with your outlook on life and how you choose to interact with others. You are the only one who can make the conscious decision to believe in the honesty of another person until he or she proves you wrong. If you insist that everyone follows the rules, you must also follow those same rules. And you must adhere to the same consequences if you break those rules.

San Francisco, California
San Francisco, California - July 2012
Yet this summer was more than that. I saw firsthand how returning students I knew from last summer had changed and grown, and for the better. I saw how new students became part of an experience bigger than themselves. I saw how Upward Bound takes high school students from varying backgrounds, sticks them together for a month of classes and learning, and gives them opportunities to travel around the state and across the country that most students never experience. Even as an RA, I never dreamed I would be able to experience San Francisco and Glacier National Park in one week, let alone with a group of fascinating and inspiring students!

Most rewarding for me was getting to see how 70 students gelled and grew together into an incredible family… one that produces friendships that will definitely last a lifetime.

And I am truly inspired by each and every one of them. I was able to reconnect with a gal who is willing to share HOBY (Hugh O’Brian Youth Leadership Program) cheers with her entire UB family. I was able sing a “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” roll call cheer with 10 students I got to know so much better this summer, both new and old friends. I was able to see students bonding over painting nails (guys and girls), card games, movies, video games, service projects, and outdoor recreation. 

It did hit me that I am a mentor—but it usually only hit me after a student has walked off when we finish a conversation. When I reflect, it's through these conversations that I am astounded by the life and fun that these young high schoolers have. In particular, I learned more about one particular guy on the day of Closing Ceremonies than I did during the entire time of the program, and it completely changed my perspective of him. 

Unforgettable, how one conversation with someone can change everything. 

As much as I have loved getting to know these students, I am even more in awe at how much they have taught me—about them, about myself, and about who we all want to be in this world. I’m glad to see that I have learned so much—more than I think they have learned from me. The friendships that I have discovered, with the students and with my fellow staff members, are unforgettable. I am blessed to have you all in my life. 

My hope is that you are able to see yourself better than you did before, and have the courage to go for all your goals, to college and beyond.

Cheers to an unforgettable Upward Bound summer in Butte, Montana!
“What I've found about it is that there are some folks you can talk to until you're blue in the face—they're never going to get it and they're never going to change. But every once in a while, you'll run into someone who is eager to listen, eager to learn, and willing to try new things….” ― Tyler Perry